Remember me - Bagul Atayeva Страница 4
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My words, spoken in a trembling voice, may not have actually reached the person who was discussing something with the headmaster in the next office. And if they had, he probably wouldn't have understood. It seemed to me that he was listening to me secretly from everyone, listening with a sinking heart. Wishing that no one would suspect, I told about my love through that aristocrat lady, threw a stone from my soul. With each confession, it became easier and easier for me, as if a mountain had been lifted from my shoulders. After the confession, I fell silent a little, and my soul found peace. I had such an idea before, but I managed to put it into practice only on that beautiful spring day.
Sometime later I heard that Serdar was being transferred to another school, and this school is far away, abroad. That's when I finally realized that nothing would happen between us, and that another person would look into his eyes. He disappeared from my life so beautifully, in a Hollywood way, like a wanderer one day who came to the palace and left it, leaving the mistress in an awkward position. The day I found out about Serdar's departure, I realized that he was leaving my world of love. I resigned myself to the fact that only memories will remain of him, and even those will be remembered when I once again hear some sad story of unfulfilled love in the daily hustle and bustle of life. I promised myself not to love anyone else, and consoled myself with the fact that "Everything will be fine with me… or without me"
After the day when Serdar said goodbye to his friends and left school, I still hurried there again to see him. It seemed to me that he should say goodbye to me. Despite the fact that we never talked for more than two minutes, and the conversations were only about studying, for some reason, he had to say goodbye to me separately. But it didn't happen. Referring to a headache, and taking my aching heart in my hands, I took leave from the lesson. I wanted, at least for a moment, to look at the desk where our love was once born. Unwanted tears blurred my eyes. And suddenly, through tears, I saw some letters, as if from a touch screen, where one touch can increase and decrease for the taste. When my vision finally cleared, I began to distinguish the writing on the desk. In order to print small letters, the author had to press the handle hard. Usually, we didn't write with such pressure that it would be easy to erase later. I recognized the author right away. It turns out he was listening to me. This thought flashed through my head. And suddenly I remembered Myahri's words about Serdar's sparkling eyes… Unable to stand, I sat down on the table, only then things returned to their former places, and bitter tears began to choke me like a downpour. I still don't understand why, my bitter tears poured out with a scream, and only then my soul found peace, but I know that I can overcome any obstacles in difficult moments of my life, remembering those eyes in which I saw myself, and that inscription that was on a desk. After all, there was written "Remember me"
Atayeva Bagul
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